Getting a divorce can be very difficult for adults, but it can also be difficult for children. When you decide to get a divorce, it is important to do everything in your power to make the adjustment as easy as it can be for your child. The following guide will walk you through a few tips to use to make the transition through a divorce as stress-free as possible for your child.
Do Not Fight in Front of Your Child
When going through a divorce, there will be times when things can get heated between you and your spouse. It is important to deal with issues on your own and not in front of your child. You do not want them to hear either of you saying anything bad about the other person.
It is important to remember that they love you both, and saying something hurtful to the other person in front of your child could make them think differently about you. It is best to handle issues away from your child so that they do not hear or see any confrontation.
Do Not Use Your Child as a Pawn to Get Your Way
There are some parents who try to use their children as pawns during a divorce to manipulate the other parent. This is not a good idea. It is important to realize that denying your ex visitation with their child will look bad when you go to court.
It is also important to realize that you are not only punishing your ex, but you are also punishing your child. They will not understand why they can't see their parent and may start to feel animosity towards you for not letting them go visit.
Do Not Lean on Your Child for Emotional Support
When going through a divorce, it can sometimes feel like you are alone in the world. When someone feels depressed or lonely during a divorce, they often want to talk about the way that they are feeling and why they are feeling the way they feel. Talk to friends, family or even a psychiatrist about the way you are feeling, not your child.
Your child should never be told the intricate details of what happened between you and their other parent. They do not need to know if someone was unfaithful or inattentive. They are not your counselor, they are your child. They need to see you being strong so that they can know they can depend on you no matter what.
Do Not Use Your Child as a Spy
Many people find that they are curious about what their ex is doing after the relationship resolves. It can be tempting to ask your child what your ex is doing, if they are dating anyone and if they are doing things you think they should not be doing. It is important to avoid using your child as a spy.
If you badger your child for questions every time they come back from your ex's house, they will notice. It will make them feel uncomfortable and could make them feel used. Avoid making your child feel like you are using them for information by allowing them to tell you anything they want to tell you without prying for more details.
If you plan to get a divorce in the near future, meet with the experienced attorneys at Paula D. Perez, Attorney At Law to start the process. They will be able to help you and your ex establish a temporary custody agreement to ensure that you are both able to have ample time with your child during the divorce process.